Tuxedo Numa and Sailor Sourpuss
by JadeEye
Summary: An AU oneshot written by EightofSwords. Really cute.Summary inside. NumaRei


Kind of an AU one shot from that first Rei-Asanuma encounter at the party we see in STC Chapter 20-something. Other than that, this is a stand-alone from STC; Rei and Asanuma in that still have a long way to go, unfortunately.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon yet, but Santa Claus is coming to tooooooowwwwn…

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Tuxedo Numa and Sailor Sourpuss

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It was the best of times, it was the worse of times. It was a season of darkness and a season of light.

In other words, it was Christmas.

"Hey, what about this one?" A brown-haired girl excitedly grabbed a glittery violet dress from the rack and waved it in front of her friend's face. "Check out this slit! You'll look so sexy!"

_And feel so cold,_ thought Rei, watching the two gigglers with thinly veiled amusement. The formal gown the two schoolgirls were now oohing and aahing over resembled one that Rei's father had forced her to wear at the last rich people get-together he'd dragged her to a few days ago. The slit went halfway up her thigh, and she'd nearly frozen to death. Until…

L

L

As Senshi of Fire, Rei hated the cold. Consequently, December was not her favorite month. And its status was lowered even further in her eyes because December meant Christmas. And Christmas meant parties. And parties meant a chance for Papa Hino to parade his little Japanese China doll around to all the wealthy corporate sons.

And corporate sons meant slinky dresses.

Senator Hino sent the elegant black evening gown to her in advance so that she could try it on to make sure it fit. Rei, upon seeing in the mirror just how much snowy skin was revealed by the number, decided that it just would not do.

Her grandfather still had a great deal of her mother's clothes saved from when she was young and still lived with him. Rei dug into the closet and after rejecting dozens of ensembles, found a flat box at the bottom of the closet. Folded neatly within it was a Chinese-style red dress. Though it wasn't the frumpy grandma dress Rei had been hoping for, it was modest and high-necked.

When the limo arrived the night of the party, the sleek silk of her mother's dress whispered against the leather seats as she slid into the vehicle. Rei thought that she noticed the chauffeur looking at her strangely, but dismissed it.

She patted a box in the seat beside her; it contained the dress her father had sent. She planned to shove it back in his face.

She had thought she was being clever. But when the limo pulled into her father's drive to pick him up, and Senator Hino slid into the car, her bubble burst.

"What the hell are you wearing?" he said when his eyes landed on her.

Rei, her composure evaporating like water thrown into a fire, felt sweat on her palms. "A dress."

"Don't give me that tongue," her father said with a dangerous edge to his voice. "Where did you get that, and where's the dress I chose?"

Rei shoved the box hastily at him, her eyes averted away. She hated how quickly he could turn her from tigress to quivering rabbit. "Grandfather gave it to me."

It wasn't technically true, but it wasn't all lie, either. Grandfather_ had_ been the channel through which she acquired the dress.

"Get out." Rei's father threw open his door and got out, glaring at her. He jerked his head towards his mansion. "Go change _now_."

L

Rei shivered all through the fifteen-minute ride to the gala site. She had forgotten her coat inside while she changed, and her father certainly wasn't offering her his. He had probably ordered the chauffeur not to turn on the heater just to teach her a lesson.

Little red jewels were artfully embedded in the gauzy white material of the gown. It was as though her dress was suffering from goosebumps – just like Rei.

A string of tiny rubies encircled her throat, cold as ice against the sensitive skin of her throat, and she constantly tugged at the dress where the slit was, trying to bring it further down her leg. Why couldn't she have an uber-protective father like the meatball head? Why did she have a father who practically shoved her into strange men's arms?

When they arrived at the party, it was somewhat warmer. She sighed in relief as the heat from the fireplace seeped into her bones.

"Oh, Takumi Hino!" A woman in a splendid pastel gown swept over. "I'm so pleased you could make it to our humble gathering!"

Rei's father bowed to kiss the woman's proffered hand. "An honour, Mrs. Hirigawa."

"Oh…" The woman blushed and laughed delightedly. Then her eyes found Rei. "Oh, and who is this lovely young lady? Not your daughter, surely?"

"Yes, this is my Rei." Hino placed a hand on Rei's shoulder and gave her a little squeeze, smiling widely. "Rei, this is Mrs. Hirigawa, our host."

Rei did a little curtsy, if only to escape the grip of her father's hand. "Pleased to make your acquaintance, madame."

Mrs. Hirigawa chortled. "Oh! I wish my Tai had your manners, Rei, darling!" She paused, as though thinking, and Rei knew what was coming. "In fact, he's just your age – why don't you come out on the veranda and chat with him? All the young people are staying out there anyways – too stuffy for them inside with all us old-timers!"

Without waiting for a response, Mrs. Hirigawa latched onto Rei with a gloved hand and steered her outside to her son and his group of friends – and to the cold. Then she swept back inside.

Rei watched her retreating back, mentally cursing the woman in every language she knew. Then someone cleared their throat, and she turned her attention to the knot of people Mrs. Hirigawa had deposited her into.

A black-haired boy in a traditional black and white tuxedo stepped forward and took her hand in his own. "I'm Tai Hirigawa." He planted a kiss on her hand. "The whirlwind's son."

"Rei Hino," replied Rei, dryly. "The debris the whirlwind left in your midst."

Chuckles rippled through the small group, which consisted mostly of boys. Rei smiled artificially and tried unobtrusively to cross her arms over her chest to hide what her dress did not. _My face is up here, morons…_

"You're very good-looking for debris, if you don't mind me saying," said Tai. "Care to dance?"

Dancing would mean removing her arms from their concealing position, and would also make her dress ride up so that the slit revealed even more. Plus, there were goosebumps ALL over her body.

"Why not?" she said with an ironic smirk.

As they moved into position – her hands on his shoulders and his on her waist – Rei thought of her last dancing partner.

That strange, bizarre, unreadable, comic boy.

Asanuma.

She thought of the butterflies he had freed in her stomach, and the way he seemed to dislike her father. She thought of how she had had to stand up on her tiptoes just a little to reach his shoulders and of his cheerful ridiculousness. Of his utter, utter ridiculousness. Of how he had asked if she wanted to meet up and hang out the next time they were at an unavoidable social function.

She wondered if he was here –

"So you're the elusive daughter of Senator Hino, huh?" Tai interrupted her thoughts. "I don't see you at many of these parties."

"No, you don't," agreed Rei shortly.

After a lull, he cleared his throat. "Are you gonna tell me why?"

Rei lifted an eyebrow. "I find your nosiness repulsing."

He laughed.

_It wasn't a joke_, thought Rei. But she smiled graciously at him.

"I don't really enjoy dancing," she said by way of reply.

"Is that so?" He cocked his head, looking down at her intently. "I enjoy dancing. I find it quite…enjoyable."

"Coming from a guy, that sounds kind of fruity," commented a new voice. Rei's heart leapt. "I would know."

Rei whipped around. Her glossy black hair slapped Tai in the face. "You!"

"Me!" gasped Asanuma Itto teasingly. Then he grinned at her, quite the zany figure in his festive red and green tuxedo. "I know you're inanely happy to see me, Rei, but please don't give yourself whiplash."

Rei tossed her head. "Please. In your dreams."

"Like I waste time on dreaming about giving you whiplash! No, my dreams about you concern other activities…"

Rei's eyes bulged.

"Uh – excuse me?" injected Tai sharply. He looked rather nettled. Not exactly surprising, as Asanuma had called him fruity. "I'm still here, you know. The whirlwind's son, remember me?" He did a little wave, catching Rei's eyes and smiling as though to remind her of their little whirlwind and debris joke.

"Hello, Whirlwind's Son." Asanuma grabbed Tai's hand and pumped it energetically. "Your pleasure, I'm sure. I'm Asanuma but you can call me Tuxedo Numa. And this is Rei, but you can call her Sailor Sourpuss."

"Well, _Tuxedo Numa_," said Tai with no small bit of contempt, "if you'll excuse me, I was dancing with Rei – "

"I'm not sure I would call that dancing." Asanuma smiled artificially.

Tai glared. "Look, _Ass_-anuma, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but back off so I can dance with my freaking partner, okay?"

"No can do, _Peeping Tai_," retorted Asanuma, stepping in front of Rei.

Rei glowered and shoved him back to where he'd been standing. "You make a better wall than a window, Itto."

Asanuma winked at her. "But I'm a handsome wall, right?"

Rei rolled her eyes. "Only you would think that walls could be handsome."

"Uh, _hello_?" growled Tai. "Rei, are you dancing or not? Cause I'm wanted, okay? I don't have all night to sit here and wait for you."

Rei looked at Tai expectantly. He flushed under her steady stare and demanded, "So?"

"I already told you I don't enjoy dancing," Rei said in an obvious sort of tone.

Tai huffed and stalked off. Asanuma turned, grabbed up Rei's hand and slapped it five.

"Yeehaw!" he exclaimed. "You drove him off!"

"Stop manhandling me," she told him in an irritated tone.

He grinned unapologetically. "You wouldn't have given me five if I'd asked for it, so I decided to take it. Anyways, good job!"

Rei shrugged. "He wasn't a tough nut to crack."

Asanuma smiled wickedly. "That's because he hasn't got any."

Rei lifted an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm not taking it back," said Asanuma. He actually looked kind of fierce. A shiver – not from the cold – thrilled down her spine. "That guy was totally looking down your dress."

She colored slightly, then recovered herself. Although she still resisted the urge to cross her arms over her chest once more. "Totally?" she mimicked. "Who sounds fruity now?"

"Oh, God knows I always sound fruity," said Asanuma unabashedly. "I thought we already went over this on our last date."

"I wasn't aware that our last meeting was a date," said Rei levelly, though inside, her heart had skipped a beat. How did this insane blond boy do this to her? She quickly changed the subject. "Anyways, I wanted to be the one who confronted him about his…ogling." She shoved him. "You stole my lines."

"Sorry, I didn't realize we had a_ script_," retorted Asanuma, rubbing his chest where she had hit him. He stared at her for a moment, and she glared at him. Finally, he said petulantly, "It didn't _look_ like you were going to say anything. You just kept dancing, and he kept looking…"

"And what, you thought I hadn't noticed? I'm not _blind_. He was pretty obvious."

"…"

"It's not like it's any of your business, anyways," grumbled Rei under her breath. "Nosy."

"Guilty as charged," admitted Asanuma. "Hey, you look hot. Wanna go inside?"

Rei blinked. "I beg your pardon?" she said incredulously and a little panickedly. What was he suggesting?

Asanuma paused and frowned, as though rewinding the past minute in his head to listen to what he had said. His face drained of color. "Oh my God! Rei – sorry – I meant to say you look cold! I mean, you do look hot, but you have goosebumps all over, so I thought you might wanna go inside – you know, where it's warm and – " He cringed and looked down at her. "Please don't hurt me?"

Rei was too busy lowering her blood pressure again to hurt Asanuma. _Kami-sama, I really thought he was suggesting…_

"Maybe we should go inside," said Asanuma, watching her shiver. "You don't look so hot…"

She flashed him a sudden grin. He took a step back, so shocked was he – it was one of the first he had ever seen on her –

And it was gorgeous.

"Stop sending me such mixed signals," she said. "First I'm hot, now I'm not – make up your mind!"

Asanuma chuckled and grabbed her hand, swinging it happily. "I like you, Rei," he announced. "I like you a lot." He clapped his other hands on hers, sandwiching her right hand between his. "Now, in or out?"

"Inside or outside?" Rei phrased it as a question, asking herself which she wanted, but Asanuma said, "No, innie belly button or outie belly button, silly!"

Rei made a face. "Yuck." She continued thinking. Outside meant cold, but inside meant more adults swooping down on her to pair her up with their children. "Outside. Less matchmaking."

Asanuma let out a breath, and it billowed from his mouth in a white cloud.

"Oh, fine," he grumbled, shrugging out of his jacket. "You're lucky I'm not really gay, Rei, or you wouldn't be getting this jacket."

And then he dropped his green tuxedo jacket on her shoulders.

Rei flinched as though fire were touching her. "No!" she hissed at him, taking it off and shoving it back at him. She couldn't walk around in his jacket – what if her father caught her?

"Rei, you're shaking like Jell-O!" Asanuma yanked the jacket around her again. Rei wrestled with him, trying to push it off, but he held it down. Anyone who witnessed the scene might have been rather scandalized, wondering what exactly the couple was doing.

After a few long minutes of tussling – Rei was feeling rather warm and flushed by this time – Asanuma gave up. Or at least she thought he had. She shoved the jacket back at him, letting out a victorious "ha!"

But then the weight dropped on her shoulders again, and something wrapped around her from behind. Something more substantial than fabric, tying around her waist.

Fire absolutely exploded in her cheeks. "Asanuma!" she hissed.

"You brought this on yourself, Rei," he replied, and his hot breath was right on her ears. His chin was right beside her neck!

Rei stood very tense and still. She cleared her throat finally. "If my father sees this – "

"Your father can go screw himself for all I care," Asanuma whispered into her ear, and sinful as it was, a delighted dark pleasure purred through her.

He lifted his head slightly, lightly touching her chin to turn her face to him. "Besides, I thought you hated him."

"That doesn't mean I'm not afraid of him," Rei muttered. A little shame stirred within her; for all her bravado and bluster, she backed down from her father as acquiescently as Ami did from Luna.

"Why?"

"Why?" Somewhere in her thoughts, they had melted into the dance floor, and she was now moving slowly from foot to foot cocooned in Asanuma's arms.

"Yeah." She felt Asanuma's nod against her hair. "You don't live with him. You're not planning to go into politics, so it's not like you need his connections. Your grandfather loves you, and – " He cleared his throat. "I'm sure you have friends who do, too. So what do you need him for?"

"He has custody of me," Rei answered quietly, jaw tense in the shadows under Asanuma's chin. "I live with my grandfather, but my dad's already threatening to make me move back to Tokyo with him."

Asanuma's arms loosened. "Oh."

"Yeah." Rei managed a sardonic smile, stepping away from him. "'Oh' is right."

"That's dumb, though," said Asanuma, though he dropped his arms. "If you live with your grandfather, why does your dad have custody of you anyway? You're supposed to live with the person who has custody of you!"

Rei shrugged. "I don't know how he does it, but he does. He's a senator, remember?"

"So why don't you fight back?" Asanuma followed her off the dance floor. "Blackmail him. Threaten to tell everyone what he's been up to if he makes you move back to Tokyo. Next year's an election year; he won't want any dirt surfacing about him."

Rei crossed her arms under Asanuma's jacket. "I've thought of that."

"Have you tried it?"

She shook her head.

"Why not?"

"Who would believe me?" Rei lifted her brows. "The celebrated Senator Hino's reclusive daughter by his tragically killed actress wife emerges after years in concealment to mudsling her father right before elections? Even a five year old would be suspicious. And you haven't seen my father's spin doctors in action. I have."

She suddenly realized what she was doing. She was wearing a boy's jacket, had until only minutes ago been in practically an embrace with said boy, and now was talking to said boy about the miserable condition of her life! Next thing she knew she would be telling him all about her life as Sailor Mars.

Feeling nauseous, she shrugged off the jacket and handed it to him. "Thanks."

He looked at the jacket she held out and then back at her. "You're leaving?"

She shrugged uncomfortably. She could explain that her father got angry when she didn't come in for him to parade her to his friends, but she had already revealed enough of her patheticness to him. "Yes."

Asanuma took the jacket but did not put it back on. "You can't – stay just a little longer?" He held up his watch with a small smile and tapped its face. "Even Cinderella didn't leave until midnight."

She glanced back at him as she started toward the doors. "It's really cold."

He locked his eyes to hers. "I'll keep you warm."

Her insides flipped. "Asanuma…"

"It's kind of mean of you, Rei, to leave me all alone after I saved you from Peeping Tai." Asanuma's voice was serious, but he wore a light grin on his face, crinkling his eyes shut, that would allow her to laugh his words off as a joke if she wanted to. She realized suddenly how gently Asanuma treated her. Like now, when he grinned to give her an escape, like his almost invariably flippant statements, like his ready apologies – everything was kept flame-retardant, fire-resistant, so that it wouldn't blow up in her face.

She didn't reply as she walked inside. She didn't know what to say. Or didn't want to say what she actually did want to say. He was just too good to be true, and Rei had grown up seeing what happened to good things. They burned. They burned brightly for an instant, and then they went out, just a pile of ash and a few wisps of smoke that made the air taste bitter.

Her father's teeth were chips of ice in his coldly dazzling smile as he greeted her. "Rei." His arm slithered snake around her shoulders in a loose half-hug.

"Oh, she's just as beautiful as we've heard." Bright, artificially whitened teeth shone out of the smiles of the simpering women circled around. There were a few men in the knot of people but not many; her father was a popular bachelor. "And what a lovely dress!"

"I do recall seeing one nearly identical to it last season," said a voice with the slightest, slightest drawly emphasis on "last."

Her father's arm around her tightened, Rei noticed. She followed the path of his eyes to the three o'clock position in the circle of people. Blonde-highlights in dark hair, waxed nearly invisible eyebrows, buxom figure stuffed into a top that might have fit her before the implants… Inside Rei, the tiger that she had inherited from her father stretched luxuriously, cracking its spine and yawning in a jaw-popping roar. Oh, how it loved when prey walked right into its lair.

"I prefer my own tastes to the buffeting currents of the catwalk," she said. "Black is universal, but I find that it often leaves people with the impression that its wearer is anorexic. Not that I'm saying you'd have to worry about that, of course…"

A double whammy. There was a tiny, imperceptible flicker in the confident smirk on Fashionista's face, but the rapidity of her hiding of it left Rei approving – and even more bloodthirsty.

She extended a hand, smiling gently. "I'm Rei Hino."

"Merisa Ankou." The man beside Fashionista took her goblet as she gripped Rei's hand very briefly. Soft, sweaty fingers. "A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"A pity we've never met before," returned Rei. The tiger inside her bared its teeth in laughter. Then she felt her father's hand squeeze her shoulder. It was not a warning touch but instead one of subtle approval. It curdled Rei's insides and chloroformed the tiger.

She shrugged away from him subtly, feeling suddenly shriveled and ugly as an eighty-year-old woman. No power coursed through her veins now but only disgust and shame. She hated her father so passionately and yet it was only a centimeter separating her from him. They were the same on the inside, and she hated that.

Females have an instinctive intuition for sensing another girl's weakness, and Merisa saw it, just as Rei had seen hers.

"Oh, you do have such a wonderful father, Rei," she said velvetly, twining an arm through Rei's. The sweat of her arm stuck awkwardly to Rei's skin. "Senator Hino, won't you let me take Rei outside with me?"

Rei's father raised his eyebrows, and Rei knew he was telling her he might have said no if she hadn't pulled that stunt with the shrugging away from him and ruining the affectionate father-daughter image.

"I don't see why not," he said. "Just make sure you come inside you get cold, Rei. I'm sure you're wishing now you hadn't insisted on wearing that dress tonight…"

Rei gritted her teeth. Damn bastard damn bastard damn bastard –

He laughed with the other members of the circle and turned away from her.

Merisa led the way to the French doors. Rei gritted her teeth harder. From the frying pan to the freezer, and this she didn't even have Asanuma and his warm arms – that was, his warm jacket. Damned Freudian slips.

"So you don't come to these functions often," said Merisa with a smile.

Rei struggled between continuing the façade or just snarling in her face. The threat of her father, as usual, won out, and she returned the smile. "I live far away," she said. "It's not practical to come to every single party."

"Oh, yes, you don't live with the senator. I'd forgotten," said Merisa in a voice that made it obvious she had not.

"Yes, well," said Rei, thinking not so much about what to say as about where Asanuma was right now. Was he dancing? Or had he gone home? No, he wouldn't have gone home just because she'd left, she was deluding herself…

"Oh, and here are the boys," said Merisa, eagerness tinting her voice.

Rei followed her mascara-caked eyes and saw the cause for the pleasure in her voice. There was a crowd of tall young men, yes, and furthermore, they were standing only a meter away from a garland of mistletoe.

"How fortunate for you," she said, thinking that getting caught under mistletoe was the only way anyone would ever kiss a girl like Merisa. Well, in a perfect universe, anyway. But boys were too lustful these days to be picky.

This thought wedged uncertainty beneath her perception of Asanuma again. It was oh so possible his treatment of her was due to the revealing dresses she had been forced into each time he saw her. That was males were after, after all – women and money. She was both.

"Well, well, well," said a voice, and Rei realized they were now in the midst of the boys. She'd let herself be distracted by Asanuma. Unacceptable. "If it isn't Debris."

"It's not," said Rei flatly. "That joke got old an hour ago."

Talk about a withering smile. Tai's shriveled right up.

"You're the joke," he said, no longer smiling. "What happened to your little friend the ass? He got tired of you?"

Laughter rang out. Adults glanced toward them and smiled at the warmth and gaiety of the young people. Rei glared, feeling the flush spread across her skin.

"Oooohhhhh," said Merisa, no longer holding on to Rei's arm. "You were trying to cozy up to Asanuma Itto, were you?"

Rei glanced at her. She should not have; the satisfied grin on the other's face nearly caused Rei to claw her eyes out.

"Asanuma's not interested in girls," said Merisa.

One of the boys laughed. "Merisa knows because she tried."

Merisa flashed him a flirtatious grin. 'What can I say? He's handsome even if he's a loser."

"More than most of you can say," said Rei, no longer feeling any compunction to be polite. If only she had stayed with Asanuma…

L

Asanuma found himself a bench in the well-manicured lawn and sat down. Above him, on the raised rear veranda, the party continued with laughter, conversation, strains of Christmas music. He sighed and drew his knees to his chin, draping his jacket over them. The cold December air searing his nose, he lowered his face to the jacket and breathed through it. Along with warmth came a faint scent, smoky and spicy like gingerbread.

Rei. He breathed more deeply. She had never pinned him as one of the girls who, if you lowered your head to her hair, would smell of flowery fragrance. Maybe a plain shampoo, or if not that, nothing at all. But now he found that she smelled like fire, and it fit her perfectly.

She made him burn just like fire. Both made him burn and scorched him. Every time he talked to her – what, a whole two times now? – he felt warm and unbelievably comfortable, like a child falling asleep in front of the fire waiting for Santa on Christmas Eve.

And then he tried to get closer, and he got too close, and he got burned.

He sighed again, wrapping his arms around his legs. Yet if he thought he was so tortured, how was her life? If she didn't like him then that was at least partially because of her father. He seemed to dominate her life the way shadows clung to firelight; every time he saw her she spoke of him, glanced around for him, abstained from activities because of him – but actually, only came to these functions because of him. So Asanuma supposed he should actually be a little thankful to Senator Hino…

A shrill shriek pierced the air, and he grimaced, not even bothering to look up at the veranda. Another flirty girl squealing at some antic or other of Tai Hirigawa's, no doubt.

Yet then another scream rent the air, and another, a whole chorus of them, and the sound of breaking glass. Asanuma spun as he stood, his jacket falling to the ground.

His jaw dropped. His mind refused to believe what his eyes were telling him – that there was a youma in full Santa dominatrix getup standing on the veranda and cracking red-and-white striped whip.

Good thing I'm down here, was his first thought after that. And then he realized Rei was still up there.

"Oh my God," he gasped, breaking into a sprint. He raced around the decorative pond, threw himself up the stairs, fighting through the flood of people now rushing toward the safety of the topiary maze in the backyard.

"Rei!" he shouted, scanning the veranda for her. God, why did rich people have to have such huge verandas – "Reeeeeiiiii!"

"Shut up, boyo!" He heard a deafening crack and next thing he knew fiery pain erupted on his cheek.

He cried out in shock, hand flying up to the bleeding cheek and staring at the buxom youma. "You whipped me!"

"What an astute observation," said a voice behind him.

He spun, and his jaw dropped yet again that evening. A Senshi – Sailor Mars – stood less than a meter away from him, regal and defiant – and sarcastic?

"I think I deserve credit just for being able to speak after I got whipped by a dominatrix youma," he heard himself say.

"Get down and give me twenty, moron!" shouted the youma, interrupting him, and cracked her whip again. Asanuma flinched, arm over his face.

"Back off." He heard clicking – Sailors Mars's high heels as she moved between him and the youma. A wave of heat washed over him. Lowering his arm, he saw fire swirling around her in a huge circular swath.

"Mars…Fire…"

"Wait!" Asanuma yelled. "There are still people up here!"

Sailor Mars glanced over her shoulder at him. "If they chose to wear hazardously flammable hooker clothes, that's their problem, not mine."

Asanuma felt both an urge to laugh and to punch her for assuming everyone here was here by choice. She didn't even know Rei! How dare she judge her?!

"Just let me find her first, okay?" he shouted. Without waiting for an answer, he darted past her. His eyes had been dazzled by the fire, and now the darkness was absolutely pitch. He was a moron; Rei probably wasn't even up here anymore, she would have been smart enough to run somewhere safe –

He heard another crack behind him, very close. It was cut off midway, though – something bowled into him.

He hit the veranda railing, hard, the impact intensified by the extra weight on his stomach. A groan escaped him. Forcing his eyelids apart, he pushed at the weight on top of him, trying to push it off so he could stand – but then a groan escaped it.

His eyes snapped fully open, and informed his brain that the weight pinning him down was a Sailor Senshi.

"Oh my God," he said, propping her up. "Are you okay?"

She pushed away from him, her hands slippery. He grabbed them and squinted. They were bleeding, the material of her gloves and skin sliced open. She had caught the whip with her hands to keep it from hitting him!

Before he could open his mouth to thank her, she spoke. "Who are you trying to find?" she asked.

He stared at her. Why did it matter?

"Rei Hino," he said.

Something changed in her expression; he was too adrenaline-muddled to tell just what. But he heard what she said. "She's safe. Don't worry about her."

"Where is she?" he demanded.

She waved him off. "She's safe. Now go do yourself the same favor."

Asanuma glanced at her one last time before wriggling through the veranda railing and dropping to the ground. He heard the roar and crackle of fire, the cracking of the whip. Bellows and cackles from the youma, something low and unintelligible from Sailor Mars.

He crept away from the veranda walling, toward the scatter of formally dressed partygoers that stood on the lawn watching the battle. Nowhere did he see Rei's snowy skin or glitter-spangled dress. His agitation increased, perhaps Sailor Mars had told him Rei was safe just so he would get out of the firing zone? That would be awfully mean of her…

He spotted Senator Hino just as the man's eyes found his.

"Have you seen my daughter, Asanuma Itto?" said the dark-haired man. The iciness of his posture reminded Asanuma of Darien.

"I was just about to ask you the same question, sir," said Asanuma.

The senator's eyes narrowed, and he released Asanuma's eyes from his glare. "If you find her, send her to me."

It was a command, a dismissive one, and it made Asanuma's blood boil. He wanted to see Sailor Mars's fire burn his bossy face up –

An idea clicked in his brain. Wordlessly, he spun back around and beelined straight back for the battle.

It was just ending when he clambered back up the veranda. The other two Sailor Senshi had arrived, Mercury and Moon, and Asanuma had to blink because Sailor Moon's golden tiara burned a golden afterimage across his eyeballs.

The youma shrieked, and hurled her whip outward before she exploded into dust. Asanuma stiffened; the whip was headed straight for blonde Sailor Moon.

"C'mon, Mars, get it," he thought, thinking of her awesome speed in catching the whip before it hit him.

Mars did not move, however, and he stared at her, wondering if she had somehow gotten hurt since he left and was unable to move. She stood legs apart, a few meters away from Sailor Moon, watching the candy cane whip slice toward her.

A black blur streaked across Asanuma's vision, perpendicular to the golden afterimage, and suddenly Sailor Moon was gone. Asanuma blinked and quickly realized, Oh. Tuxedo Mask.

His eyes could not help but be drawn to the couple. The bizarrely-dressed superhero in his top hat crouched precariously on the veranda railing, Sailor Moon cradled in his arms like a precious gift. She stared up at him with an adoration Asanuma would never be able to capture, neither on canvas nor from Rei. Bitter unhappiness stabbed into him; he shook it away and hoisted himself onto the veranda.

"Hey!"  
The shout tore Rei's attention from Serena and Tuxedo Mask, though the bitterness their closeness had inspired in her did not weaken. She looked toward the voice and felt her heart skip when she saw who it belonged to.

He stood jacketless on the veranda, tuxedo shirt ripped at the sleeve and smudged all over. His hair was totally messy, curls plastered to his forehead and hanging in his eyes.

A click from behind her drew her eyes momentarily to the side. Tuxedo Mask had stepped down from the veranda railing, setting Sailor Moon on her feet. Then he stood, watching – instead of leaving.

Suspicious but her curiosity about Asanuma overcoming her suspicion for Mask, she looked back at Asanuma. And he was looking straight at her.

"Um," he said.

She tried to say something back but realized her voice would not work. Panic seized her suddenly. Had Asanuma realized who she was? It had been moronic of her to get so close to him in both her identities –

"I was, um, wondering if you could help me with something," said Asanuma. He was looking at her, but his eyes suddenly flicked from hers to Moon, Mask, and Mercury before flicking back to hers. "All of you, if you could, even."

"We'd be happy to." Serena stepped forward. Rei hated her for being able to find her voice and movement. SHE wanted to tell Asanuma she'd help him! Why did the ever-perfect Serena have to be the first to step forward? "What is it, exactly?"

"It's kind of complicated." Asanuma took a step forward. "It's for Rei Hino, though," he directed this toward Mars. She stiffened. "You know who she is, I guess, but, um, it's about her dad – "

"I'll handle it!" Rei nearly tangled her words in her haste to get them out. "You guys go home, I'll do it."

"It's okay, Mars, we'll help. It's not that late."

Rei's loathing of Serena grew. Yeah, sure she was trying to help, whatever, as usual, but could she not just DROP it? Rei didn't want them finding out about her dad! And damn Asanuma for bringing it up –

"NO!" she barked. "I'll do it! Go home!"

Mercury looked scared now. Rei pursed her lips and looked away. She heard them both, Mercury and Moon, leap away, and the fluttering of a cape that meant Tuxedo Mask had left also.

"Wow," said Asanuma. She glanced back at him, eyed hard. "That was – um – intense."

"Did you expect light and frothy?" said Rei. "You're dealing with Sailor Senshi and a nasty senator, not eggnog."

"You do know the deal with Rei's dad, then?" Asanuma looked hopeful, and she couldn't understand why. What was he thinking?

"A lot better than you do," said Rei. "Yet I don't understand what you could possibly want Sailor Senshi to do about it?"

Don't you?" said Asanuma. "I was thinking you could – you know – threaten him? Burn his hair off if he doesn't turn custody of Rei over to her grandpa, or something."

Rei opened her mouth to tell him why that wouldn't work. Then she stopped. Because…would it not work?

"I understand your reluctance," said Asanuma. "It's kind of a split-second plan, I just came up with it. But for Rei, don't you think it's worth a try?"

Rei half-smiled, half-grimaced. "You think that she's worth it?"

"Why?" He scowled at her. "You don't think she is? At least she didn't just stand there while Sailor Moon was about to get hit by that whip!"

Crack. Crack crack crack. Any happiness Rei might have felt at talking to Asanuma about herself shattered and soaked in a sea of acidic self-contempt. The pleasure she felt at his defense of her sank like a ship under the gale of guilt that howled into being inside her. The waves crashed, again, and again, ramming her down into the truth that she was a bitch and would always be a bitch, a human being never cared for by others. As she choked and spluttered on the stinging truth, she was damned if she was going to go down alone. She was going to make him hurt just as badly as she did.

"You don't know Rei," she said, the tiger inside her snarling. Broken out of its cage, roaring its fury on the sinking ship, coming so close to having freedom only to sink, it was going to sink its teeth into any sailors left on board. "You thought she liked you? She only talked to you because you were too big a fruit to try anything on her."

Bizarrely enough, in her blinding rage she still saw his face laser-clear. Perhaps because she was so focused on ripping pain from him, because she wanted to see each wince on his face.

And yet he disappointed her. He stared back at her and said, "If that's all I am to her, that's fine. If I can be a refuge of some sort for her, that's what's important."

Rei laughed. Bitter and high, it scared even her – deep on the inside, smothered in the tiger's pelt, choking on the waves' foam. Yet the ship was sinking; land was nowhere. "You're an even bigger moron than I thought."

"If it makes you feel superior to think that, then think it." Asanuma still met her gaze steadily, none of her words making a single dent on him. She was always so affected by other people but she never affected them. She hated it.

She slapped him. _Crack_.

His cheek around the whip's cut burned angry red. But he didn't.

"Will you help her or not?" he said.

Rei stared. She became aware of her heart pounding very emphatically in her chest. As though it was trying to tell her that it was still there.

"You don't know what it's like," she heard herself say.

Asanuma's eyes were trained very steadily on her. He began to speak, slowly. "After my little sister died, my dad started to avoid coming home. He stayed out late, came home drunk and crying and breaking things. When I asked him what we could do, how I could help, he just kept telling me, 'You don't understand. You wouldn't understand. No one understands.'" He took a deep breath, shaky. "But – but if I understood him, then I'd be stuck at the bottom of the same put as he was. And then there wouldn't be anyone at the top of the pit to pull either of us out of it."

Rei stared at him. A long moment passed.

Then something cold kissed her cheek. Asanuma's eyes would not release hers, and she reached up blindly to touch her face. She felt cold wetness – and more, more, a dozen feathery kisses along her skin. It was like a thousand little epiphanies, icy and fresh, pure and brand-new, each one informing her of a new wonder: the air was cold, the youma was gone, her grandfather loved her, she was a Sailor Senshi and a mortal like her father couldn't cow her, she had friends who supported her who she could eventually make to love her, Serena was still alive even though she, Rei, had made the mistake of not stopping the whip, Asanuma was still standing her even though she'd slapped him, she was getting a second chance even though she'd been so blind…

She stared up at Asanuma, and his hand was gripping hers tightly, and it did as though feel as if she'd been pulled from a dark pit – a black hole, even. Or, more appropriately to the season, a sooty chimney.

Her lips parted at the touch of another frosty snowflake. "Asanuma – you – "

His smile was so gentle, like the snowflakes. "Merry Christmas, Sailor Sourpuss."

…

L

L

"You realize you look kind of weird standing in front of a store window staring at two fourteen-year old girls."

Rei glanced up as a chin landed on her shoulder. "What can I say? Your pedophile ways rubbed off on me."

"As if you'd let me rub you any way at all." Asanuma's voice was both sly and pouty.

Rei rolled her eyes, turning away from the shop window. "Just when I thought the conversation couldn't get any dirtier…"

"Isn't nice how our relationship's always full of surprises?" Asanuma smiled down at her, his eyes crinkling shut, and slid an arm around her waist, steering her away from the squealing middle-schoolers. "No, wait, don't say it – I know what you're thinking. 'The surprise is that we're in a relationship at all.' Ooh, I read your mind! Don't you find that romantic?"

"Rather, I find it proof of how well whipped I have you," said Rei. She stuck out a hand as he lowered his head suddenly, mashing it into his face. "Back away. I told you that if you were going to eat the garlic chicken there wasn't going to be any kissing."

"Lita lets Toki do it," Asanuma complained.

Rei speared him with a violet-eyed stare. "Do I LOOK like Lita?"

Asanuma hung his head. "No. Don't cook like her either," he added in a mutter. "Ow!"

Rei withdrew the heel she'd ground into his foot. "If I cooked as well as Lita, you'd have to share me with Serena just like Motoki has to do with Lita. Do you want that?"

"No-o-o," drawled out Asanuma. "I want you and your scathing insults all to myself." So saying, he glared at a boy who was staring at them as they passed him for the doors – or rather, staring at Rei's swishing skirt and long, long legs. "AHEM!"

Peeping Tai Jr. started and quickly turned his head.

"That's better," said Asanuma. "You've got to start wearing longer skirts, Rei."

"But then I get hot," Rei said factually.

"Yeah, well with your short skirts, other people get hot," retorted Asanuma, agilely ducking Rei's replying swing. "Namely, boys."

"Opportunity cost for dating the Senshi of fire," said Rei unsympathetically. But she flinched as Asanuma pushed open the door and cold December air whooshed in, blowing back her hair and skirt.

Asanuma grinned and began shrugging off his jacket humming, "I'm in love with a stripper…"

"I hate you," said Rei as he plopped it on her shoulder and wrapped his arms around it the same way he had at that party a year ago.

Asanuma switched now to a Stacie Orrico song as they walked awkwardly toward the car, as though in a two-legged race. "You hate me, but you love meeee…."

Rei sighed but burrowed her chin in his jacket collar to hide her wide smile.

"Oh!" exclaimed Asanuma suddenly, stopping his humming. "Wait a sec. Got an idea."

Rei looked back up at him curiously.

He grinned at her and gently combed back her long curtain of black hair and wound it around his neck. He now had a long, hairy black scarf.

"Ooooh." He shivered in please. "Much warmer."

"I'm going to charge you for that, you know," said Rei with amusement.

"Well, I was going to charge you for your jacket, so we're even."

"My hair's worth more than your jacket," Rei yawned. "You'll still owe me."

"I'm sure we'll be able to reach an agreement satisfactory to both parties." Asanuma waggled his eyebrows.

Rei flashed him a grin over her shoulder. "I don't accept coupons."

Asanuma leaned closer and brushed his lips against her grin, tangling his eyelashes in hers. "What about kisses?"

Rei's breath caught in her throat. She leaned forward, her lips forming the words against his mouth. "That depends. Got any mistletoe?"

L

The End


End file.
